Before I say anything else, I  just want to remind everyone that John McCain is a dangerous idiot.  Go Obama!  Ahem...


We all love TH liberals, don't we?  Every conservative forum I've been on has had it's share of liberal trolls who repeat the same mantras over and over with a pathological intensity that would impress Jack Nicholson's character from "As Good As It Gets."  This seems to be a uniquely liberal phenomenon.  I'm not sure if conservatives simply lack the desire to go Democratic Underground or Daily Kos and comment on every single article, or if these bastions of liberal tolerance are simply very quick to delete and ban conservative infiltrators.

I've noticed a few traits common to the TH liberal species:

1.  They don't have their own blogs.  They apparently spend 18 hours a day telling everyone else they are stupid, but can't (or won't) put their own ideas up to be discussed.  God forbid that a "lily" or "Jack" actually allow their own writings to be examined and dissected by the rest of us.

2.  They don't actually believe that we understand what they are saying.  Pretty much all of their posts could be rewritten as follows, "You're all stupid.  If you were smarter, you wouldn't be stupid.  You can't appreciate the wisdom and wit of my criticism because you're too stupid, which is what I'm criticizing you for."  Essentially, they are all just in love with the metaphorical sound of their metaphorical voice on the net.  They actually see themselves as poking a retarded kid with a stick for fun, and are proud of themselves for doing it.  How...  noble.

3.  They all cling to the same handful of obvious lies:

  a.  Conservatives are hypocrites because they oppose abortion but support capital punishment.  Yeah, you spent your first 5 months, 29 days of existence as the moral equivalent of Ted Bundy.  Oh, wait, Ted Bundy and Richard Speck are actually more valuable to liberals than a zygote, because serial killers are viable outside a womb.

  b.  Christianity can't be upheld as a moral standard because some Christians have done bad things.  Likewise, no other system of morality can be condemned, because some non-Christians are not obviously evil.  Wow...  yeah... umm...  You got me there, liberals.  I mean, Jesus never would have figured out that some people would be hypocrites, people outside the "master race and/or religion" can be virtuous, or that the path he tried to lay out for us would be hard to follow.  The parts of the New Testament where he criticizes hypocrasy, tells a fable of a good Samaritan, or refers to following his path as "carrying a cross" and himself falls several times on the road to Golgotha are obviously figments of my imagination.

  c.  Rich people are thoroughly evil and must be punished.  Also, they never actually lose money.  You can level any amount of taxes on them, and an economic downturn can cause them to lose billions of dollars, but they will always be rich.

  d.  No liberal social program will ever be rolled back.  We have to support smoking bans, because the results of smoking will cost us through Medicare and Medicaid.  We have to raise taxes to shore up Social Security in its exact present form.  We need a dictatorial police state because liberal gun control laws will never be repealed and only a thorough saturation of government agents can keep us safe.

4.  They have the same boiler-plate statements on every author, usually consisting of complaining about how the author is once again writing about the things that the author is known for writing about.  Now, if I want to read work that is typical of Mike S. Adams, I read one of his articles.  If I'd rather read a weightier piece, I look for something from Sowell.  Walter Williams is also good if I want some straight talk, but don't really want to hear about campus feminists.  This logic doesn't appeal to liberals.  Every single week, they are going to read Mike's column, and complain that he is still Mike S. Adams.  Watch for the following statements to appear, with minor variations, every day for the rest of TH's existence:

Mike S. Adams - "Oh, you're so stupid, Adams.  Christianity is stupid.  You're a Christian, so you're stupid."

Ann Coulter - "Do people actually still read Coulter's garbage?  (Liberals are incapable of acknowledging that she's a New York Times Best Seller.)  Republicans need to move past Coulter to someone more reasonable, like Mao Tse Tung.  Oh, and Coulter is blonde and blondes are dumb."

Michelle Malkin - "As a woman and a minority, Michelle Malkin should be killed for being a traitor to proper liberal values which are needed to protect her inferior race."

Douglas Giles - "Giles is an idiot.  I mean, seriously, he's an idiot.  He's dumber than George Bush.  He's an idiot.  Have I mentioned he's an idiot?"

Thomas Sowell - "Big... words...  can't formulate reply...  Ooh!  A post by Gunny!  I'll make fun of him!"

Any TH User Blog - "You're insane, and stupid.  I pity you."

So, in the words of the famous beer commercial, we salute you, Mr. TH Liberal.  May your CTRL-V always print, "You're stupid."

I simply had to reprint this article from reasononline.   I remembered this story and wanted to make sure it was shared.

http://www.reason.com
http://www.reason.com/news/show/35775.html

Play Politics

Free speech isn't free, even for the Dixie Chicks.

Jacob Sullum | July 11, 2003

Creators' Syndicate

---

I'd like to extend a hale and hearty congratulations to our noble leaders in Illinois who never met a gun control bill they didn't like.

Earlier this week in the affluent suburb of Tinley Park, five women were killed in a Lane Bryant store.  One more was injured.  Apparently motivated by robbery, the perpetrator tied up the six women in the store, customers and employees, and executed them.  One woman is still alive because this waste of flesh hit a non-vital part of her neck instead of her head while she was bound and at point blank range.

I can only imagine the national day of mourning we'd be having right now if any of those women had been allowed to defend themselves.  A fine, upstanding mass murderer might have been killed or injured.

Good job, gun grabbing politicians with your private armed security and police escorts.

Good job, business owners who instruct your employees to go along with the demands of robbers.

May this celebratory mood be spread by every one of you losing a loved one in a similar incident.  They'll die proud that they lived in a country where they could surrender their right to self defense up to the god-like efficiency of the government.

Nothingness Bless Demerica!

We need a college level class called "Reality 101" taught at every university in America and Europe.  The course summary would be, "Here's the real world.  Try not to choke on it as we force it down your throat.  If you believe you can change any of these fundamental truths, you'll need to sign up for Theology 101."  Basically, the following truths would be taught...

Truth #1:  The Common Man is Lazy and Uninformed

Sadly, a lot of what goes on at Townhall.com is a lot of wheel-spinning that doesn't really take us anywhere.  We are energetic and informed, talking to other energetic and informed people.  We actually know who Duncan Hunter is!  I shudder to think what percentage of Republicans are going to mosey up to the ballot box and throw in a vote for Rudy Giuliani based on his performance in "Anger Management."  You want to take the money out of politics?  Get online and learn about the candidates!  Actually pay attention to your local elections!  The problem is not the money, the problem is that 90% of the electorate only knows what they see in 30 second commercials during "Deal or No Deal" (aka Proof Against Intelligent Life on Earth).

Truth #2:  The Common Man Will Destroy Anything You Give Him

I go to a gym with paid memberships.  This means that everybody there is paying to be there.  They are not suffering through hard-scrabble poverty and ignorance, barely able to survive.  They have disposable income, and hours of free time to spend at the gym.  In spite of this, gum gets stuck everywhere (especially in people's locks), wads of paper towel and garbage get thrown into the urinals, the walls are graffiti-covered, and the lockers are apparently attacked with hammers on a regular basis.

Now, imagine if this gym were FREE...

You know why we have homeless people in America?  Because you may have a better shot at survival sleeping in an alley than living in a public housing complex.  "Hello, Housing Authority?  Can you send somebody to take care of the rats in my apartment?  Oh, you did send someone...  They were raped, killed, and eaten you say?  Oh...  Maybe I can train the rats to guard me in my sleep."

Truth #3:  You Are Wealthy, You Are Privileged, And You Are Hated

Get used to it, pal.  You know all those times you've complained about how Paris Hilton doesn't deserve her money?  There's someone behind you, looking at your back with knife in hand.  They think you don't deserve what you have, either.  Keep talking about how we need to "get rid of the rich" and "achieve social justice."  You're inflaming the people who just might kill you.

"Oh, but I'm barely surviving!"

No, you're not.  Quality of life in the United States is better now than it ever has been.  Why?  Because big, evil corporations have created technologies that make our lives more comfortable (if not better), and they made them affordable to the common man.  If you live in the U.S.A. and you think you have it bad, try living in Calcutta, Rwanda, or North Korea.  Come back and see if you still want to complain about your awful studio apartment in the city.  We live better than kings two centuries back (well, maybe with less sex) and we have the gall to complain about our lot in life and call for the destruction of the very institutions that got us to this point.

Truth #4:  Pacifists Are Idiots

Do you want there to be peace on Earth for the rest of your life?  Here's how to make it happen.  Wake up tomorrow morning, don't watch the news, and throw yourself in front of a train.  You didn't SEE any war that day, so it didn't happen.  Just ask an atheist.

The average American pacifist always has to point out that the U.S.A. "loves to kill brown people."  The American Revolution, War of 1812, Civil War, World War I, and World War II were all fought against brown people, you see.  Shhh...  nobody tell Hitler he was the only white guy.  Oh, and don't forget our long conflict with the terribly brown Soviet Union.  This is the sort of argument that only appeals to morons (like liberals and pacifists), since an intelligent person might find it kinda racist to suggest that the number one thing that makes you stupid enough to adopt a hostile stance towards the most powerful nation in the world is not being white.  And have you noticed that "diplomacy," initiated by white people, is supposed to solve everything?  You see, Ahmadinejad, not being white, needs a white guy to explain to him that a massive nuclear war would be bad.

What a pacifist says:  "We wouldn't have these problems if we'd just open a dialogue and resolve our differences by showing respect for their culture."

What a pacifist apparently means:  "We need to stop being mean to these poor, animal-like savages.  If we lure them out of the trees with some bananas and gently explain to them that they shouldn't throw poo at people, they will be happy and do little dances for us."

Respect your enemies enough to assume they have a reason for wanting to kill you.

Truth #5:  You Are Not God

You are a human being with opinions.  Not everyone agrees with those opinions.  The people who disagree are not necessarily stupid or misinformed.  They might have a different idea on how life should be lived based on their opinions.  If your opinions are completely irreconcilable, you should probably get away from each other.  If you can't do that, you might have to kill each other.  The other person is not going to magically come over to your point of view.

"But, you call liberals morons!"

Yes, I do.  Liberals ARE morons.  Are they morons for desiring "social justice" or wanting to help the poor?  No.  They're morons because they repeatedly turn to policies that are proven failures and create societies that do exactly the opposite of their stated intentions.  Wanting a utopia doesn't make you a moron.  Creating a hell in the attempt to do so, does.  Here's a transcript of a conversation I had with a moron...  liberal:

Liberal:  "Everyone should have health insurance and a living wage."

Me:  "Yeah yeah...  I know.  Everyone has a right to health care, and food, and a place to live..."

Liberal:  "I'm not saying that.  I'm just saying that, if you're working, you should get a living wage."

Me:  "And if you're not working?"

Liberal:  "Well, we need some kind of welfare system for people who can't work for some reason..."

Me:  "Because everyone has a right to health care, and food, and a place to live..."

Liberal:  "You're over simplifying it.  That's not what I'm saying."

Me:  "Then what are you saying?"

Liberal:  "I'm saying that can't pay people so little that they can't get by and afford health care and..."

Me:  "So you're saying that everyone has a right to health care, and food, and a place to live?"

Liberal:  "No."

Me:  "From each according to their ability.  To each according to their needs.  Right?"

Liberal:  "You're oversimplifying it!"

It didn't get much better from there.

Just piping up to let people know I haven't been disintegrated by Ronulans.  Expect another full-length rant soon.

Speaking of Ron Paul, though, I was quite interested in his suggestion of using letters of marque to fight Al-Queda.  I know conservatives are slammed for being stuck in the past, but I didn't think we'd gone back to the 17th century.  Now I've got images of Captain Jack Sparrow going after Osama Bin Laden.  Sadly, Johnny Depp would be more likely to join Al-Queda than fight it.

One has to wonder if Ron Paul has any idea what sort of international crisis could occur if Dog the Bounty Hunter and Blackwater decide to invade Pakistan looking for terrorists.

Certain kinds of people just get under my skin.  These include (but are not limited to):

-People who stop and have a conversation in a doorway or at the end of an escalator.

-Environmentalists with air conditioners.

-Wiccans.

-Atheists who babble about how we should "love" each other and not interject Supreme Beings into the matter.

Look, atheists, if you're right, then we don't have souls.  If we don't have souls, 100% of our feelings and experiences are just electro-chemical stimuli.  Given that premise, a pill or machine will one day be made to simulate any experience or emotion.  Therefore, a call from an atheist for universal love is the equivalent of said atheist saying, "We should all be heavily sedated before we hurt someone."

From a Christian perspective, love is a wonderful emotion that brings us closer to the all-loving nature of God and Jesus.  From an atheistic perspective, love is a hormonal rash spreading through the brain meats of an addled chimp.  Love, especially the sort of unconditional love and forgiveness a Christian is supposed to feel, is irrational and a liability. 

Islam was never "hijacked" by terrorists.  Atheists, however, keep trying to "hijack" Christian morality and claim they are the sole arbiters of morality.  Arrogant pricks love patting themselves on the back while spewing hollow mockeries of Christian doctrine and pretending they made it up themselves.  "Hey, I'm the first human in history to realize killing is wrong!"

"Well," says the atheist, "Can't we agree with the philosophical premise that love is good without the religious parts?  Jesus had some good ideas."

No, Jesus did not have good ideas.  Jesus had God's ideas.  In America and Europe, the culture was shaped by people who believed in God and His goodness, so they taught the ideas of God.  Love is only good because God says that He loves us and wants us to love each other.  Without God, love is just one of many impulses that make you, an individual, feel good.  And no, Western, Christian concepts of love are not universal human impulses.  A Hindu who beats his wife for having a girl, sets up said girl in an arranged marriage, and arranges that marriage with someone of the appropriate caste does NOT have the same attitudes towards romantic, familial, or brotherly love as me.

Heck, romantic love is essentially a Christian heresy that attempts to find spiritual enlightenment in the heat of lust over the restraint and patience required to maintain a long term relationship.  That's why romance novels end with the death of one or both lovers, or the first sign of commitment.  The romantic ideal is forever shattered by the first argument over who has to do the dishes.  At least you get the momentary feeling of spiritual fulfillment as you unite with your "soul mate," instead of viewing your sex partner as the random target of your bestial, hormonal impulses.

"But," says the atheist, "We want to remove the faith elements that lead to war and misery."

Ri-ight...  All the wars in history have been about ideology, power, and resources.  Of course Christians and Protestants have warred with each other.  They wanted to put different people in positions of secular authority and differed on philosophical issues that shaped their culture.  Since we don't live in an infinitely large Garden of Eden, the option of just going off in separate directions and leaving each other alone wasn't on the table.  Removing the religious overtones probably wouldn't have saved a single life after factoring in the subsequent removal of the same Christian virtues that allow us to now condemn those actions.  From an atheist perspective, the near constant presence of war in human history is a perfectly natural expression of how pack carnivores compete for territory.  Where a Christian must accept that everyone has a basic human dignity granted them by the Creator, an atheist has no intrinsic reason to not kill a few million people if it would advance his plans.

"Now look here," objects the atheist, "We can be virtuous!  We know the difference between right and wrong."

Yes, an atheist can follow what he thinks are virtues.  An atheist knows the difference between his opinions of right and wrong.  But, at the end of the day, it's all his opinion.  Every moral judgement an atheist makes boils down to "because I said so based on my feelings at the moment."  The only standard of morality that would ever survive in a purely atheistic world is "Might makes right."  I sure wouldn't waste my time on diplomacy with a group of people who reject the idea of objective, universal moral truths.

"Well," sniffs the atheist, "At least we have science on our side."

Not really...  Science revolves around facts.  Facts are truth.  The search for truth is revered in Western society because of religious teachings that Jesus was a manifestation of truth and that truth is the ally of righteous men.  An atheist may become a scientist, or may subscribe to the notion that reality is subjective to the viewer.  A Christian may believe that men can perceive reality because this world was made for us, while an atheist may think that the universe has no set rhyme or reason.

Being an animal lover, I at least understand the liberal atheist.  They are the self-appointed zookeepers of Earth, trying to create a controlled habitat for the confused monkeys.  Conservative atheists scare me.  They tend to be Ron Paul supporters who want their home state to become a Mad Max style anarchy run by biker gangs.  "Ya, I vote for Ron Paul!  Hand over your women and petrol!  *machine guns fire*"

Today, a customer complained about the "emo kids" in the mall, and how most of them are from Orland (a nearby, wealthy suburb).

"I'm so depressed," the customer said in a mocking tone.  "I wanted a Porsche, but daddy bought me a BMW."

"It's like Karl Marx," I replied.  "Guy lived off his wife and best friend, hardly worked a day in his life, and wrote a book about the nobility of the working class."

Liberalism and "emo" are both forms of toxic narcissism at heart.  The wealthy suburban idiot, disaffected teen, and deluded professor are all generally well off.  They live the good life.  But, they are so smart...  so keyed in to the sufferings of their fellow man...  so spiritually bound to Mother Nature that they are wracked with agony over the sad state of the world.  The isolation of being so enlightened, yet surrounded by the savage hordes, tears at the fabric of their soul.

Being a liberal Democrat requires you to look at life with several assumptions firmly in place. 

Firstly, everyone is scum, except for Democrat politicians, people who contribute to Democrat politicians, and you.  Everyone else is out solely for themselves, but are willing to make sacrifices if it somehow hurts a woman, minority, or homosexual.  Doctors raise their prices "just because."  Your boss is out to screw you.  Republican politicians are out to destroy the country for the sheer pleasure of watching everyone burn.  Essentially, you could offer the average American a tin of chewing tobacco and a year subscription to "Guns & Ammo" to kill their own mother, and they'd ask, "Buckshot or slugs?"

Second, everyone but you, your father, and Democratic politicians are utterly incompetent.  Individuals with firearms will only kill themselves, a member of their family, or their classmates.  Abortion must remain legal because most fathers will, at some point, rape and impregnate their daughters.  The poor will be poor forever.  The middle class will become poor, because they have no idea how to save money or behave vaguely responsibly.  The rich will stay rich, but only because they have so much money that they can't possibly run out, no matter how bizarre their fetishes or idiotic their behavior.  The rich also control everything, badly, which is why every aspect of life seems somehow cheap, artificial, and unfulfilling.

Third, you deserve everything you ever wanted, but it's been given to Paris Hilton.  Stupid society gave all the stupid money to stupid Paris Hilton when they ought to be appreciating your amazingness.  Clearly, this indicates that there is no God.  People who believe in the Christian God are double stupid, but any god associated with witchcraft, tribal tattoos, or societies that collapsed more than a thousand years ago are cool.  Essentially, the liberal ideal would be to sacrifice Paris Hilton to dark powers for magical genital enlargement, then party for the rest of their lives in a mansion while, between abortions, pontificating on the virtues of hard work and blue collar families.

Finally, anything that contradicts your worldview is a lie, and paradoxes are perfectly acceptable.  It is fine, for instance, for a wealthy, powerful, black man to insist that America condemns all black men to lives of powerless poverty.  The fact that the average Democrat politician rose to power by doing the things he would then forbid anyone else from doing is perfectly okay.  There is no shame in taking a private jet to a conference on excessive fuel consumption.  Religion is a dangerous mental illness, but we must not do or say anything to offend the religious, unless they are Christian.  The government must protect us from all harm while being completely unaware of our activities.

Oh, and despite being wolf-ugly, degenerate, lazy, stupid, Stalinist whackjobs, we must maintain a high level of self-esteem.  Otherwise, we might start thinking that we don't deserve all our dreams coming true without *gag* hard work.

I have long found www.thereligionofpeace.com to be an invaluable resource for information about Islam.  It was there that I found this link regarding the Massacre of Beslan.

The video isn't easy to watch.  Nothing about the murder of over 180 children is easy on the mind.  There's nothing funny about it, either, so you'll find this to be a departure from my usual writing.  Over 300 people were killed in total, for the purpose of spreading Dar al-Islam (The World of Submission).  Now, some people will tell you that these people, and various Al-Queda types, have hijacked a peaceful religion.  Those people are full of crap.



Muhammad tried the wandering prophet thing until it became apparent that his ravings appealed to few of the Christians, Jews, and pagans he approached.  He was far more successful as a brutal warlord, guilty of murder, rape, and pedophilia.  To kill a woman who spoke against Muhammad was to earn the blessing of Allah!

When confronted by the contradictions between his earlier mysticism and new teachings regarding when and how to rape prisoners of war, he claimed that he had been, on several occasions, tricked by Satan.  Later suras would correct the earlier mistakes as Allah continued to reveal them.  The messages of peace and mercy in the Koran are actually, in the eyes of a true Muslim, the dictates of Satan.  The merciful Allah, in contrast, loved to describe, in lurid detail, the tortures that awaited those who dared not believe.

Being familiar with the Bible, I can hardly piece together an idea of what waits in Hell.  I cannot, with any certainty, say that the Bible actually indicates the existence of Hell.  What most Christians think they know about Hell comes from the fictional works "Dante's Inferno" and "Paradise Lost."

Understanding the timeline of Muhammad's teachings, there is no doubt that the murderers and rapists of Beslan are bound for Islam's heaven, in the highly unlikely event that Allah is anything but Satan himself.  Or are they?

God's law is for all men, is it not?  The teachings of Allah say to slaughter the infidel, but who is ultimately the infidel?  If righteous slaughter is the ultimate virtue, then the last man standing is the true follower of Muhammad, be he Sunni, Shiite, Kurd, Jew, Christian, or other.

Oh, but from whence come "the Good Muslims?"  Where, oh where, do these non-violent, good Muslim citizens draw their virtue, having been raised on a prayer mat kneeling towards Satan's capital?  Their blessed virtues came from the millions of Christians, Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Zoroastrians, and Sikhs who, with a scimitar held to their throat, decided that God would forgive them for mouthing subservience to Allah's animals instead of watching their women raped, their sons castrated, and everyone they loved destroyed before being decapitated!  How many millions of forced converts taught their children the "Satanic verses" of the Koran, mixed with the words of Abraham and Jesus?  Do you think that every convert immediately indoctrinated their families in the cruelest inhumanities of the foreign invaders?

How many Muslims around the world would convert to another religion in a heartbeat if not for the threat of Allah's animals killing their children?  Raping their wives?  Cutting their heads off, all the while screaming, "Allahu Akbar!"?

Allah's animals rush to bring about the end of the world, and we do nothing.  We do less than nothing, considering the way Western civilization happily spreads Islam's own anaesthetic propaganda.  Putin cuddles up the to the intellectual brother of every animal that wants to rape and kill Russia's children while Europe blithely thinks Muslims will be won over by European, atheistic ennui.  "Look!  We are childless, simpering fools begging for extinction!  Don't you want to be like us?"

If the so-called "War on Terror" is ever to be won, Islam itself must be destroyed.  It will not fall before Russian machinations, the banality of China, or the feeble Christian morality of Europeans plodding towards self-destruction.  This enemy can only be defeated by an American willing to unite behind a strong leader willing to flush multiculturalism down the philosophical crapper where it belongs and, in the spirit of Ronald Reagan's "Evil Empire" speech, say to the world, "A Muslim is someone who reads the Koran!  An Anti-Muslim is someone who understands the Koran!  We will confront the evil of Islam because there is no room in the 21st century for the enslavement of women, the rape and murder of children, and the deaths of countless innocents in the name of Allah!  We do this not for glory, or conquest, or the sick hope of rape and pedophilia in the monstrous heaven of Allah's animals, but because we are one nation under God, and we have given witness before any foe that all men are bestowed the dignity of freedom by grace of the Creator!  Mistakes have been made by Christians, but the wickedness of those mistakes is only known today because they are viewed through the light of Christian truth and virtue.  We stand at a pinnacle of truth, and technology.  No corner of the world cannot be seen by us, and so we can no longer claim ignorance of wickedness.  We face a choice to confront the evil that threatens to consume all the world, or to face a God who will remember that we were too weak to stand with him against the coming darkness!  If ye are of the Lord, you will hear the Truth!  And if you hear the Truth, then hear a call to battle!  For New York!  For Washington D.C.!  For Beslan!  For London!  For Fallujah!  For Tehran!  For Jerusalem!  For God and the United States of America!"

Of course...  that won't happen.

Although I risk attack by Ronulans, I have to express my bewilderment with Ron Paul.  I've been reading up on the man, and I agree with him to a point.  Small government:  Good.  Less taxes:  Good.  Legalizing drugs:  Reservations.  Ron Paul looking like an evil leprechaun:  I can handle that.  Ron Paul's views on foreign policy...  *sound of brakes screeching.*

Now, I'd actually support Ron Paul pulling us out of the UN and NATO.  Clearly, the interests of the United States are not served by trying to follow global edicts set by the votes of Saudi Arabia, Iran, and Sudan.  American sovereignty must be preserved against the "New World Order" types.  America should be allied with those nations we can have healthy relations with and unaccountable to the nations who hate us.

But, I get the impression that Ron never got the memo that "The Protocols of the Elders of Zion" is fake.  Ron seems to follow the ideology that we'll be just fine if we just go home and leave Israel to defend itself.  I, personally, consider it a moral imperative to aid an ally, especially when that ally is a relatively modern democracy surrounded by people who kill each other over the proper way to drain goat blood.

Anyone who thinks isolationism will make us safer desperately needs to play the computer game Civilization.  Being at the top promotes hostility in those who have less, hence the existence of Marxism.

On more thing:  Ron Paul supporters give me the creeps.  Seriously, I think a poll of insane asylums shows Ron Paul winning a landslide, with Denis Kucinich coming in second.

So, as near as I can tell, a Ron Paul presidency would result in some great economic times followed by a nuclear war when Ahmedinajad tries to summon the 12th Imam with ICBMs.  But, I'm open to explanations of why this WOULD NOT happen, if anyone has a rational argument to offer.

I'm feeling mean today, so anyone easily offended should go elsewhere.

 

I was listening to a news story about Oprah Winfrey's school scandal, and somewhere in the midst of it I heard a clip of Oprah saying, "The drums of Africa still beat in my heart."  Oh...  good...  I'd been losing sleep at night wondering if Oprah had been de-Africanized by living la bella vita in downtown Chicago.  Apparently, my plan to have killer bees calmed down by Lake Michigan dinner cruises with Mayor Richard Daley won't work.  That isn't to say that Daley shouldn't be loaded into a boat full of killer insects, but it would only solve one of the problems.  Daley would step onto the boat saying something like, "I'll be glad to entertain the...  Africanized Honey Bees?  That's one of the street gangs that handles campaign finances for my flunky aldermen, right?"

If you're caucasian, you're expected to go anywhere, kill the native population, and survive just fine no matter how far you are from Mother Europe.  If you're black, you have to maintain some mystical, seemingly worshipful, connection to the Dark Continent or...  or...  you lose your magical negro powers?

"Can't...  slam...  dunk...  must look...  at a giraffe..."

Maybe Barack Obama, the "Magic Negro" himself, should take a trip to Africa to meditate on wildebeests.  He'll return with the newfound power to defeat the Hildebeast in the Democratic primary.

Look, I'm so ethnically Irish that I bleed whiskey and shamrocks.  Despite having to buy sunblock and moonblock, I don't wax rhapsodic about how the moss of the Sunless Isle grows on my liver.  Most Americans don't even particularly like Europe.  We're here because we fled Europe. 

Can anyone tell me what racism even is anymore?  Back in the day, racism was the position of the scientific elite as they attempted to explain the civilizational differences between races.  Their eugenic world-view became unpopular when it was enthusiastically embraced by Adolph Hitler, demonstrating to the right thinking people of the world that we need to focus on the individual dignity of humans as children of God rather than following the cold decrees of atheistic science.

Now it seems that being white is enough to prove that you're racist if you attempt to discuss the racial divides in America and the world.  I'm going to violate the codes of political correctness here, but let's listen to the "drums of Africa" with a rational ear and see if we can't hear a few notes that are disturbing, and not due to any "ignorance" on behalf of the listener.

1.  98% of American blacks vote Democrat.  What percentage of Germans supported Hitler?  As a conservative, you're caught between a rock and a hard place when trying to view American blacks as a group.  Granting American blacks the dignity they deserve as humans, you have to hold them accountable for their political beliefs and consider them enemies of America.  If American blacks were an independent nation that held the views of the people they tend to vote for, then I'd support going to war against them.   Denying their responsibility for their own views is to reduce them to the status of animals, which would be both racist and terribly un-Christian.  Skin color:  Not a problem.  Communism:  Problem.

2.  Afrocentrism is a joke.  If the "drums of Africa" are so loud in your heart, go there.  One of the great things about our free society is that you are free to leave.  Louis Farrakhan often declares that American blacks should break away from white America and form their own nation.  Despite his usual high praise for Africa and his buddying up to Qaddaffi, he DOES NOT want this new nation to be in Africa!  Why?  Because Africa is a pile of crap mostly, though he phrases it more gently.  Oh, and don't blame "European imperialism" for the problems of Africa.  Said imperialism is the only reason there are vaguely civilized portions of Africa.  It seems to me that we could use some more imperialism, then maybe we could finally eliminate slavery in Africa.  Skin color:  Not a problem.  Romanticizing a hell-hole:  Problem.

3.  American blacks are horribly racist in the hateful, ignorant sort of way we've been trained to associate with gun-owners who live south of Ohio.  Don't believe me?  Ask a Korean who runs a shop in a black neighborhood.  Black children in America face an enormous amount of pressure from their peers to NOT succeed academically because that would constitute "acting white."  Blacks wax rhapsodic about how they are "the first people" and had empires while Europeans were living in caves.  Hope you don't believe in evolution, Tyrone, or those "first people" comments are really hilarious.  Oh, I'm also not terribly impressed by your glowing portrait of a magnificent Africa that fell before the cave-dwellers who just happened to have superior technology and tactics.  Large numbers of blacks also lend some kind of credence to Louis Farrakhan who, among other things, claimed that all non-blacks are the result of experiments by an evil demon-sorcerer.  Skin color:  Apparently a problem for blacks.

4.  Kwanza.  Enough said.

So, I'm up to my eyeballs in merchandise at work when a kid walks into the store wearing an outfit that could only be worn by a mall rat or a fictionalized medieval vampire hunter.  Being a pale night owl, I was briefly concerned, but a few friends of mine walked in and I felt some numerical safety against the potential threat of a steam-powered crossbow.  As I tried to get my items organized, me and my friends commented idly on the trend of youngsters to dress like Edward Scissorhands.  Dimly, I heard Edward Softhands say, "She's a conservative pretending to be a liberal."

A curious glance revealed the kid to be looking at a Hillary Clinton nutcracker (we display it next to a box of partially deflated rubber balls).

"Hillary Clinton?"  I said, shocked to the core.  "A conservative?"

He proceeded to criticize her stance on various types of censorship, notably the new ratings system for violent and mature video games.  I wanted to respond that yes, such regulation of content fell into the bounds of social conservatism, but the woman wants to socialize healthcare...

"That's why I'm a socialist," he offered as I tried to organize my thoughts.  My thoughts promptly fell all to pieces again.  "Though the ultimate goal would be civilized anarchy."   That idea didn't help any.

Me and a friend started discussing the oxymoronic nature of civilized anarchy as I tried to piece together a logical progression from socialism, a totalitarian ideology, to anarchism.  We ultimately concluded that humanity had not reached a point in it's development where anarchy would be feasible at any foreseeable time.

"And that's why we need socialism," the kid declared.

"Indeed,"  I replied, "We won't have to worry about censorship in the movies or games because we'll be busy standing in line for toilet paper."

"Well,"  he said, "that's Stalinism, not socialism."

The kid seemed quite firmly convinced that socialism was working somewhere, but that such information was suppressed by the American media and American educational system.  Apparently, we're all wrong about Wolf Blitzer and whatever commie they have teaching social studies at the local elementary school.

"So you're saying that, even though such information is suppressed by the information systems of America, you know it anyway just because you're so... special?  The aliens beam the signals directly into your head, thus bypassing the media and schools?"

He didn't really have an answer for that one.  You really have to give the American educational system credit for the incredible way that it instills certain ideas into the heads of our youth by telling them that the very ideas being discussed are somehow verboten in American schools.  I want to make a pro-Christianity T-shirt appealing to the rebellious nature of the youth.  It would have Jesus surrounded by horrified Pharisees over the saying, "Jesus:  Freaking the mundanes for 2000 years." 

He tried to point out the supposedly successful socialist economies of Europe.

"Europe," I stated, "works right now because they are importing an effective slave class to do the jobs the hoity-toity socialists don't want to do.  In a hundred years they'll be switching from socialism to Sharia based feudalism."

The kid had no idea that there were a large number of Middle Eastern and North African immigrants in Europe, and wondered where I got my information from.

"I read."

So, we delved into the supposed good works of socialism, of which he was only really able to produce one shining example:  Hitler.  Sure, he was a genocidal lunatic, but darn was he good for the economy with his National Socialism.

"Kid...  the economy of Germany recuperated because Germans were enthusiastically pursuing war time industries with a zeal driven by Hitler's passionate, jingoistic, and racist propaganda.  Anti-semitism is really a cornerstone of socialist philosophy.  Socialist belief is that only the evil and scheming get ahead in capitalism, right?  And what ethnic group holds a disproportionate amount of wealth in this country and Europe?  Jews.  So, if you believe capitalism is some great evil, you've got to believe the wicked Jews are holding down the noble, blonde haired, blue eyed, working class heroes."

"Well, that wasn't the case in all socialist countries..."

"Yeah, kid.  Some places like Cuba didn't have a lot of Jews to hate."

I ended up keeping the store open 15 minutes late just to keep talking, but I finally shook hands with the kid and sent him off to see an overpriced, unoriginal vampire movie with his bizarrely dressed girlfriend.  All the while, I thought to myself, "Kid, those movie tickets and the wardrobe bought at Hot Topic are what creates the supposed inequalities of capitalism."

He said he'll come back to continue our conversation.  I hope he does.  I have some ideas for how to introduce him to the cold reality of the adult world.

I was raised a Catholic, lapsed from the faith during a dark time in my life where I wore a trenchcoat and steel-toed boots all the time, and returned to God later in life.  Now, according to the typical atheist, my return to Christianity was the result of brain damage, a psychotic break, or a kidnapping in which a Cardinal brainwashed me into hating homosexuals.  These were not among my reasons.

One day, it clicked in my head that the teachings of Jesus were simply correct.  Jesus not only proposed an ideological vision that I consider the most intellectually and morally valid way to live your life, but he showed an understanding of how the human mind worked that remains relevant 2000 years later.  I honestly believe that everyone should convert to Christianity.

So, you can imagine my amusement when Ann Coulter was burned in effigy for saying the same thing.

After reading a few articles on the latest Coultastrophe, I decided to have some real fun and look up various amateur Coulter-criticisms:  feedback on Amazon.com, various blogs, etc.  The most amusing accusation to appear several thousand times was that Ann Coulter has no business identifying herself as a Christian.  These angry, presumably Christian liberals stated over and over that the teachings of Jesus could not possibly be compatible with the rhetoric of Coulter.

Well, for the purposes of public education, I've decided to explore the dark, seamy, Coulter-esque side of Jesus Christ...

Jesus, like Coulter, doesn't think the Jews have it right.

 

"For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 5:20

 

Jesus wasn't nice to those he thought to be corrupting his father's house, much as Coulter derides those she feels to be ruining our country.  In fact, he attacked them and called them names.

 

"And they come to Jerusalem:  and Jesus went into the temple, and began to cast out them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money-changers, and the seats of them that sold doves;  And would not suffer that any man should carry any vessel through the temple.  And he taught, saying unto them, Is it not written, My house shall be called of all nations the house of prayer?  but ye have made it a den of thieves."  Mark 11:15-17  (That's pretty offensive stuff there.)

Ann's detractors in the media keep trying to darkly hint at the depravity of her personal life and the low quality of her associations.  Jesus had the same public relations issues.

"The Son of man is come eating and drinking;  and ye say, Behold a gluttonous man, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners."  Luke 7:34

Have I mentioned that Jesus was often mean to people?  Usually people in power?  He might call a powerful community leader a raving, wicked fool, for example.

"And the Lord said unto him, Now do ye Pharisees make clean the outside of the cup and the platter;  but your inward part is full of ravening and wickedness.  Ye fools..."  Luke 11:39-40

Jesus, unlike Coulter's targets, can handle things said about him.

"And whosoever shall speak a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him."  Luke 12:10

Coulter, and the rest of the "right wing hate machine," are accused of dividing the country (because, well, having independent thought is criminal in the liberal world view).  Surely, Jesus doesn't divide people...

"Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth?  I tell you, Nay;  but rather division:  For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two and two against three."  Luke 13:51-52

Jesus and Coulter encouraged their followers to invest in the armaments of the day.

"And he said unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip:  and that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one."  Luke 22:36

Jesus and Coulter both have had issues with less than appreciative audiences.  They respond by being mean.

"Jesus said unto them, If God were your Father, ye would love me:  for I proceeded forth and came from God;  neither came I of myself, but he sent me.  Why do ye not understand my speech?  even because ye cannot hear my word.  Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do.  He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in truth, because there is no truth in him.  When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own:  for he is a liar, and the father of it.  And because I tell you the truth, ye believe me not."  John 8:42-45

Well, surely Coulter should be respectful of other religions, right God?

"Thou shalt have no other gods before me."  Exodus 20:3  (Guess not...)

Jesus does, however, send his support to Ms. Coulter.

"If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you."  John 15:18

I am a nerd.

I've been using my internet handle for years in Dungeons & Dragons, various video games, and all night sessions of Scrabble on Yahoo! Games.  My bookshelves alternate between Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, and people with swords and/or lasers.  If either Coulter or Malkin put out a book where they hold a sword on the cover, I'll buy five copies.

While I've managed to avoid some of the worst stereotypes of nerdiness, I find myself between the proverbial rock and hard place when trying to talk politics.  Nerds, to a large extent, seem to be rampaging communists.  Conservatives think I worship Satan.

Now, one would think that I could just talk to my fellow dorks about our shared interests and not interject politics, but I've found that the compulsion to leave religion and politics out of polite conversation only applies to conservative Christians.  Any suggestion that you might hold some regard for George Bush, God, America, or personal responsibility gets you assaulted faster than David Horowitz trying to get past college liberals armed with pie.  Adding insult to injury, the moderators of the Dungeons & Dragons forums I used to frequent would admonish me for bringing up the taboo subject of politics, but considered blatantly anti-American posts just fine.

Liberal Poster:  "So, I'm setting up a campaign where a beleaguered farming community is trying to resist oppression at the hands of a huge empire of evil humans.  Think something like the North Vietnamese resistance to the Americans..."

Me:  "Well, I'm sure they could strap some fantasy equivalent of a bomb to a child and send it running into a group of soldiers."

Liberal Poster:  "I'm looking for suggestions, not pro-American propaganda."

Moderator:  "Arturick, stop bringing up politics."

Another favorite of mine...

Liberal Poster:  "I'm running a game where, traditionally, the players are chasing after imaginary 'Communists' conjured up by the ruling political party.  I was thinking of changing it to terrorists, but would that be in bad taste?"

Me:  "Well, it's not in any more bad taste than to suggest that Communists were an imaginary threat, considering the tens, if not hundreds of millions of people they've killed."

Liberal Poster:  (I kid you not, this is a real quote.)  "Sounds like you've been reading Coulter and, worse, believing it."

Moderator:  "Arturick, stop bringing up politics."

A few fellow nerds have, after hearing my opinions regarding communism, stated that they live in mortal fear of what "people like me" would do to them and their families.  (Today, Randy Rhodes!  Tomorrow, the world!  Bwahahahah!)

Given that D&D is a game of clear moral divisions, religious zeal, and glamorizing the righteous application of force, I suppose the rampant, leftist nuttery stems less from the hobby itself and more from the fan base being young, inexperienced (*cough*virgins*cough*), and ignorant to the reality that Al Gore wants to take their computer and air-conditioner away.

 

So, one day I'll undoubtedly get myself a circle of crotchety old Republicans who like to roll funny dice, down a few beers, and talk about young, nubile, female conservatives.  Perhaps I'll even play with my kids one day.  Of course, they might not see the appeal of the game.   They'll be raised by me, after all, so they'll see the real world as a place where good and evil are clearly defined, God exists and lends strength to those who pray, and righteous men must ever be ready to face the darkness.

I never really liked debating the Iraq war.  Not being a professional military strategist, or having the head of the CIA on speed dial, I don't really feel qualified to argue the merits of any particular approach or battle in the Iraq conflict.  I've often wished that my liberal associates would take a similar stance, but apparently they were all five star generals in a past life.  Any time a soldier gets killed in Iraq, they hop on the soapbox and vaguely assert that this was a direct result of George Bush's stupidity.  In general, I just shrug and state my agreement with Tony Blair's statement, "at worst, we removed a terrible dictator from power."

Of course, since I live in Illinois, one of the states that should probably be quarantined to prevent the spread of "Bush Derangement Syndrome," my political opponents generally dismiss any such noble intention for the Iraq war and darkly intone vague accusations against the oil industry.  We're in Iraq, and now the oil industry is making record profits...  DUN DUN DUN!

Chris Matthews of "Hardball" claimed that, while he's "not a Marxist," he "saw the hand of money" in the Iraq war.  Hillary Clinton has effectively declared that the profits of the oil industry should be taken from them,  and presumably given to corrupt Washington bureaucrats.  Hillary also probably denies being a Marxist.

The price of oil has risen for a variety of reasons.  I don't particularly accept the idea that the Iraq war was sufficiently different from the crises that wracked the Middle East every single day before and after the invasion to account for a massive increase in the price of oil.  Before the war, the price jumped every time we heard about a particularly vicious suicide bombing.  Of course, back then the Democrats were quite supportive of both high prices and suicide bombing...  well...  some things never change.  But, the Democrats at least appeared to have a grasp of basic economics before the war.  John Kerry was quite enthusiastic over the idea of a 50 cent tax per gallon of gasoline because he's a Democrat and it's a tax, but also because the commensurate reduction in gasoline usage would be good for the environment.  But, since the price of gas rose and the extra money is going into the pockets of private citizens rather than some senatorial mistress who gets paid to hold a desk down, the increase is now a terrible strain on the economy with no environmental benefit.

A moronic bumper sticker vendor gave me a lengthy rant about how the common man was suffering under the price of gasoline.  I pointed John Kerry's tax out to him, and he began angrily (and incoherently) defending the tax before finally stomping away.  And George Bush is an idiot...

In another conversation, I had to listen to someone repeat the words "billions of dollars" as if it were some horrid indictment of the oil industry.  He couldn't actually say that the oil industry was doing anything illegal, or even unethical, but the fact that they were making billions of dollars...  it...  it just made him hurt inside, you know?  It's just not right.  I should have that money...  or some of that money...  just enough for a few hours at the local massage parlor...

One day the Democrats will realize that we're all after sex, not money, and they'll push to make women public property.

Seeing this debate rage across the country, I have decided to offer my experience and wisdom as the manager of a retail outlet to tell my fellow Americans how business works:

1.  The retail price of an item includes a profit margin.  This mark up from the cost is intended to cover the costs of running the facility that dispenses the product, including salaries, taxes, and utilities.

2.  The profit mark up is generally based on a percentage of the cost, so the profit per unit increases with the cost of the unit.  Increasing price carries the risk of reduced volume of sales, so the higher profit per sale is needed to keep the business viable.

3.  If demand for an item remains steady or increases while the cost of the item is increasing, then the company is in a position to make a record profit if it is able to meet the demand.  This is called "good business."

4.  Prices are not too high if you are still paying them.  If your gas consumption remains unchanged in the face of increased prices, then the price you pay is effectively the fair market value.

5.  If you cannot reduce your gas consumption, support the following alternatives:  Nuclear power (right now a lot of our electricity is from oil), domestic drilling (increased supply = lower cost), increased refining capacity (same reason), and buying less plastic crap (a lot of oil gets used to make plastic, so reduce the amount of frivolous, Chinese, plastic garbage you buy for yourself and your children).

Or, you could vote for the Democrats, because they're going to fix things...  or so they say...  since 1920 or so...  but one more election and poverty, racism, sexism, and those icky feelings you get about other people having a billion dollars will all go away!