Before I say anything else, I  just want to remind everyone that John McCain is a dangerous idiot.  Go Obama!  Ahem...


We all love TH liberals, don't we?  Every conservative forum I've been on has had it's share of liberal trolls who repeat the same mantras over and over with a pathological intensity that would impress Jack Nicholson's character from "As Good As It Gets."  This seems to be a uniquely liberal phenomenon.  I'm not sure if conservatives simply lack the desire to go Democratic Underground or Daily Kos and comment on every single article, or if these bastions of liberal tolerance are simply very quick to delete and ban conservative infiltrators.

I've noticed a few traits common to the TH liberal species:

1.  They don't have their own blogs.  They apparently spend 18 hours a day telling everyone else they are stupid, but can't (or won't) put their own ideas up to be discussed.  God forbid that a "lily" or "Jack" actually allow their own writings to be examined and dissected by the rest of us.

2.  They don't actually believe that we understand what they are saying.  Pretty much all of their posts could be rewritten as follows, "You're all stupid.  If you were smarter, you wouldn't be stupid.  You can't appreciate the wisdom and wit of my criticism because you're too stupid, which is what I'm criticizing you for."  Essentially, they are all just in love with the metaphorical sound of their metaphorical voice on the net.  They actually see themselves as poking a retarded kid with a stick for fun, and are proud of themselves for doing it.  How...  noble.

3.  They all cling to the same handful of obvious lies:

  a.  Conservatives are hypocrites because they oppose abortion but support capital punishment.  Yeah, you spent your first 5 months, 29 days of existence as the moral equivalent of Ted Bundy.  Oh, wait, Ted Bundy and Richard Speck are actually more valuable to liberals than a zygote, because serial killers are viable outside a womb.

  b.  Christianity can't be upheld as a moral standard because some Christians have done bad things.  Likewise, no other system of morality can be condemned, because some non-Christians are not obviously evil.  Wow...  yeah... umm...  You got me there, liberals.  I mean, Jesus never would have figured out that some people would be hypocrites, people outside the "master race and/or religion" can be virtuous, or that the path he tried to lay out for us would be hard to follow.  The parts of the New Testament where he criticizes hypocrasy, tells a fable of a good Samaritan, or refers to following his path as "carrying a cross" and himself falls several times on the road to Golgotha are obviously figments of my imagination.

  c.  Rich people are thoroughly evil and must be punished.  Also, they never actually lose money.  You can level any amount of taxes on them, and an economic downturn can cause them to lose billions of dollars, but they will always be rich.

  d.  No liberal social program will ever be rolled back.  We have to support smoking bans, because the results of smoking will cost us through Medicare and Medicaid.  We have to raise taxes to shore up Social Security in its exact present form.  We need a dictatorial police state because liberal gun control laws will never be repealed and only a thorough saturation of government agents can keep us safe.

4.  They have the same boiler-plate statements on every author, usually consisting of complaining about how the author is once again writing about the things that the author is known for writing about.  Now, if I want to read work that is typical of Mike S. Adams, I read one of his articles.  If I'd rather read a weightier piece, I look for something from Sowell.  Walter Williams is also good if I want some straight talk, but don't really want to hear about campus feminists.  This logic doesn't appeal to liberals.  Every single week, they are going to read Mike's column, and complain that he is still Mike S. Adams.  Watch for the following statements to appear, with minor variations, every day for the rest of TH's existence:

Mike S. Adams - "Oh, you're so stupid, Adams.  Christianity is stupid.  You're a Christian, so you're stupid."

Ann Coulter - "Do people actually still read Coulter's garbage?  (Liberals are incapable of acknowledging that she's a New York Times Best Seller.)  Republicans need to move past Coulter to someone more reasonable, like Mao Tse Tung.  Oh, and Coulter is blonde and blondes are dumb."

Michelle Malkin - "As a woman and a minority, Michelle Malkin should be killed for being a traitor to proper liberal values which are needed to protect her inferior race."

Douglas Giles - "Giles is an idiot.  I mean, seriously, he's an idiot.  He's dumber than George Bush.  He's an idiot.  Have I mentioned he's an idiot?"

Thomas Sowell - "Big... words...  can't formulate reply...  Ooh!  A post by Gunny!  I'll make fun of him!"

Any TH User Blog - "You're insane, and stupid.  I pity you."

So, in the words of the famous beer commercial, we salute you, Mr. TH Liberal.  May your CTRL-V always print, "You're stupid."